Autumn Ombre Updated
by Roxy Red.rum
Summary: It had always been this way, they played their roles. Sans: the Jester. Papyrus: the Fool. He knew he was what others would call naive. Believing the best in people, believing the best in himself. Of course, now that behavior was simply unacceptable, knowing that his faith in other's caused Sans to almost fall. Knowing that he might have woken one day to find nothing but dust...


A/N:

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Yes, it is dark, and, to be honest, not a lot is going to be happy in it.

I suppose in a way, this story is a little bit of an outlet, I'm dealing with a lot of stress, depression, and just general.

self-loathing. I'm going to try and see a councilor soon, but it's been hard for me to reach out.

Anyways, this isn't a great story to read if you came here for fluff.

Sorry.

Hope you enjoy the chapter.

A/N: Edited

Alright, for everyone whose been with me through this, I'm doing a lot better. Not perfect but I'm getting there,

I've started up some Anti-Depression Medication and I swear to God it's a miracle drug. I want to work on this

story some more. I've grown more as a writer and I hope it shows.

Also, mention of Rape at the end. Skip the X's to avoid.

* * *

At this point, he's positive that any course of action he could take wouldn't change a damn thing. The opportunity for damage control had come and gone. Now he was left to face a flustered bag of bones, with the air of sex drifting between them. It wouldn't have been so bad if he had just turn around and forget this ever happened, like any normal sibling would.

No. Seeing Papyrus with such need had his soul pounding and crackling with magic. Instead of leaving, he settled for damning himself a thousand times over in the eyes that met his.

His brother's face shifted quickly, once from shock the shock of being watched, then something guarded before finally settling on concern. It took only a quick wave of dismissal before the orange soul that had been hovering between them receded. It only made it more painfully obvious in the new darkness. Papyrus's eyes narrowed-in on his disgusting heart, watching the cerulean of his arousal flutter in the air between them.

Still he stayed, not realizing that his fingers cut deep grooves into the thin of his radius, and how his breaths escaped in dissonant quakes. Completely stripped of all thought, he could only vaguely track Papyrus as he approached from across the room before kneeling. It was only when his brother started shaking his shoulders, did he fall from his trance.

"Sans, are you alright?"

It was a small saving grace that he had unnatural control of his eyes, after a few attempts, he managed to get his pupils to reform, and a few seconds later his posture returned into a more relaxed state. Somehow in that time his soul dissapeared.

"sorry bro, i'm fine, just got a little rattled back there."

Not easily convinced, the concern almost doubled on Papyrus's face. Quickly, he pulled Sans into a hug, not bothering at the lack of reciprocation on Sans's part. Sans was unbearably light as he picked him up in his arms and carried him downstairs. Papyrus dropped him off on the couch before disappearing into the kitchen.

Sans took the time to curl in on himself and shake. He was disgusting, he was gross, he was going to hell. How could he get fucking aroused at the sight of his brother rubbing one out in front of him. He practically raised him, something was wrong with him, and not for the first time he remembered how easily it'd be to fix this.

Another reset was bound to happen and all of this was so too easy to make go away.

He heard coughing from above, and saw Papyrus had emerged with two cups. The aroma of Hot Chocolate wafted in the air.

Papyrus placed a cup onto the table besides Sans, noting how the light in his eyes had vanished once more.

"Sans, I don't think you were being entirely honest with me, are you sure you're alright?"

At that, Sans curled and distracted himself from the question by digging at his bone using a single digit. He wanting nothing more than to disappear. God, he didn't deserve kindness. He was disgusting, he was sick, broken; but as always, Papyrus, the one light in his life, could pull him out of his self-hatred. With a slow resignation, he allowed his hand to be removed. His brother flipped the arm over and cautiously prodded at the marks he had left; with a sympathetic sound, he was drawn back into another hug.

"Brother, please I worry for you, I promise I won't judge. Tell me, why would you hurt yourself like this?."

"really papyrus," Sans chuckled darkly to himself, "i don't know why you even bother with me." It was a relief to finally let some of his hatred for himself out. Even if it was to the one person he wanted to never have known. "seriously, you put up with so much of my shit, really, you don't deserve this." I don't deserve you, he thought to himself, briefly panicking when the arms that were laced around him tightened.

"Nonsense, you're the brother of the Great Papyrus, any brother of mine, by extension, must be Great too!" Briefly shifting, Papyrus pulled back to look at his face. Not finding much of anything, he turned his attention to the untouched mug beside them. Humming gently, Papyrus guiding it to Sans's face, coaxing him to take a sip.

"I admit," Papyrus winced but continued onwards, "that it was unsettling to see you watching me, but I'm not mad. Sans, please answer me because I really don't have much to go on, are you perhaps attracted to me?"

"yes, no, maybe?" Sans threw out, "I don't know Papyrus, I just- fuck. shit, I'm sorry-"

Papyrus quieted his brother, and took a moment to consider his next words wisely. He wanted nothing more than to reassure his brother that everything was fine, but even if that was what they both wanted, that wasn't what they needed.

"Sans, you're not quite sure how you feel about me, correct," he paused until he felt a nod against his chest before continuing, "have you ever felt this way about anyone before?" A pause, another nod. "Good, we can probably figure this out from that, since you have some experience at least."

Papyrus was confused, he thought that maybe now that they had found a base-line, Sans could start to open up. However, his brother's reaction was far beyond anything he could predict. In his arms, he could feel him shivering. Trying to get his attention only caused Sans to cower backwards and squirm out of his grasp. In his panic, he fell off the couch and landed on the floor, shattered shards of ceramic scattering the ground. Picking himself up from where he landed, he stood and backed away.

Papyrus was quite surprise at the reaction, and even more to find that Sans didn't disappear entirely in his state of panic; but rather, he curled inwards and slipped his hands into his jacket. He didn't meet Papyrus's gaze, just stood there like an eery statue. A broken shell.

"Sans." He felt helpless, all he could do was call out. His brother's head snapped up at the words, but it made his stomach turn just watching it, "Do you want to stay or leave, I honestly don't know what more I can do at this point"

"what do you want?" Was the monotone, uninterested response. Papyrus's eyes crumpled and his shoulders shook in distraught.

"I want to help you Sans, but I want what you want."

"i'll do whatever you want, i don't care," Sans said, his voice sounding so cold and unlike anything he was use to hearing from his carefree brother.

"No, Sans. I want you to think about what you want, tell me, please."

That was as close to a command as Sans was going to get, "...i want to die."

Papyrus's magic flared to life, and without thinking, he brought his soul out to comfort Sans. The soul could convey to each other what words couldn't, and it wasn't abnormal for a monster to comfort a panicked child in this way. Although, yes, Sans wasn't some nervous kid, he was still distressed.

Once again, he was startled to find out how fast his brother's magic responded to his own. At first, he was happy for this, but eventually gritted his teeth in exasperation. He battled his brother over the putrefaction of their new link; he wanted nothing more than to banish his brother's dark thoughts, but Sans's magic struggled to turn that link into a more intimate nature...

Papyrus felt like he wanted to scream, he knew for certain that if he had hair he'd be tearing it out. Looking up, his heart fell to dread.

Sans was crying.

He stopped battling at once, shuddering against the pleasure that wracked his body, as his brother's magic momentarily overwhelmed his senses. He quickly shielded his heart away, not trusting himself to speak until the assault to his soul ended.

"Brother I don't understand, I'm trying to. Please," he begged, "I want to help you."

Sans crumpled onto his knees, and in a moment Papyrus hovered over him. This time, though, he kept his distance. He didn't want to send Sans back into that earlier state. Papyrus was shaken to his core.

"Please, I worry for you. I can't just forget about this, knowing what I know now. I trust you brother, and I'll be right here for you, I hope you know that."

They both waited, Sans eventually shifted off his knees to sit on the ground. Finally, he allowed himself to fall apart.

XXX

* * *

He gagged, feeling the air shudder around him as he clawed into nothing, yet everything. Gaster's above him, watching his movements neutrally and continuing the small ministrations to his soul. Occasionally bending down to swipe his tongue across its surface. Sans could feel the panic rising in his throat, he's struggling to pull away because it's just too much. Too much, and for a skeleton, he is unbearably warm. The air is suffocating.

For a blessed moment, there's relief. Gradually, his head lifts from the safe cradle of his arms. Tilting back from the spot on the floor he lays crumpled in, he meets Gaster's disapproving frown.

And flinches as a hand lands on his shoulder.

"Sans, be still, I don't want you damaging my equipment and I don't want to start over again."

After a few moments, Sans nods, forcing his body to stay put. Gaster hums, shifts the soul in his hands, and continues


End file.
